So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
