why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
