we have pet lesbian snakes
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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