Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
