Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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