Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
