I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
