Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
