LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
