Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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