I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
you would pick up someone in the library
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
