I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
