everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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