Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.

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(847): View more from Illinois

No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.

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(785): View more from Kansas

So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.

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(626): View more from California

Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?

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