Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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