In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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