i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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