Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it's like iHOP with fire
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
