Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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