i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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