I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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