this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
