the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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