I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
