Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
