Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
