I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
