I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
