You made me cry and you don't even care
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
