I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
