Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
