her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
