More tranny stories later!
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
