I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
