I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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