I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
