I wanna passion pit in your ass
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I will pee on everything he values.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
