My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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