Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I bet he comes in French.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
