We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
