Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
