wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
