my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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