this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
