it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
