There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
