I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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