is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
