A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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