Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
