You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
